I used to believe that success was a solo journey. That if I just worked hard enough, stayed focused, and kept my head down, I’d build the life I wanted all on my own. But the deeper I get into my career, the more I realize—who you surround yourself with matters just as much as the work you put in.
The people in your life will either pull you forward or hold you back. They’ll either challenge you to grow or keep you comfortable where you are. And if you’re serious about getting ahead, about truly building a life on your terms, then choosing the right partnerships and friendships is just as important as any skill or strategy.
Here’s what I’ve learned about finding the right people—and what it takes to be the kind of person others want to build with, too.
The Foundation of Any Good Relationship: Aligned Values
At the core of any great partnership—whether in business or friendship—is alignment. If your core values don’t match, nothing else will hold.
I’ve met plenty of people who seemed like great connections on paper—driven, ambitious, successful. But if their mindset didn’t align with mine, if they were motivated by things I didn’t respect, or if they cut corners in ways I wasn’t willing to, those relationships never lasted.
So before you invest your time, energy, and trust in someone, ask yourself:
Do they value integrity?
Are they focused on growth, not just short-term wins?
Do they genuinely support others, or are they only in it for themselves?
Do they push me to be better, or do they drain my energy?
If the answers aren’t clear, that’s your answer.
Because here’s the thing: it’s better to have a small circle of the right people than a large network of the wrong ones.
What to Look for in the Right People
Once you’ve filtered for values, the next step is finding people who actually make you better.
I’ve learned to look for:
People Who Take Initiative – Some people talk about what they want to do. Others just go out and do it. You want to surround yourself with doers—the kind of people who don’t wait for permission or the “perfect moment” but take action even when it’s messy.
People Who Call You Out (In a Good Way) – The best relationships aren’t just built on support; they’re built on accountability. I want friends and partners who push me to level up, who call me out when I’m making excuses, and who remind me of my standards when I start lowering them. I’ve had the same close friends since I was a child, we constantly keep each other in check and aren’t afraid to tread in uncharted waters with each other.
People Who Show Up Consistently – Reliability is everything. It’s easy to be excited about a new project, friendship, or business venture in the beginning. But are they still there when the hard work kicks in? When things get tough? The people worth building with are the ones who stay in the game.
People Who Think Big – I don’t want to be the smartest or most ambitious person in the room. I want to be surrounded by people who challenge me to think bigger, move faster, and expect more from myself. Because comfort is the enemy of growth, and the right people won’t let you stay comfortable for too long.
What You Need to Bring to the Table
The flip side of this is just as important. It’s one thing to demand high standards from the people around you, but are you meeting those standards yourself?
If you want great people in your life, you have to be the kind of person they’d want to build with.
So ask yourself:
Am I reliable? Do I follow through on what I say I’ll do?
Do I bring value? Am I just looking to get something out of people, or am I actively contributing?
Am I honest and direct? Do I communicate clearly, or do I expect people to read my mind?
Am I willing to grow? Do I take feedback well, or do I get defensive when challenged?
The reality is, you attract what you are. If you’re inconsistent, unreliable, or surrounded by negativity, take a look at how you’re showing up. Because the right people won’t stick around if you’re not holding yourself to the same standards you expect from them.
The Hardest (But Most Important) Part: Letting Go of the Wrong People
The toughest lesson I’ve learned in this journey? Not everyone can come with you.
Some people only fit a certain version of you—the version that was okay with playing small, making excuses, or staying stuck. And when you start leveling up, those relationships will either evolve with you, or they’ll fall apart.
That’s not a bad thing. It’s just reality.
If you’re serious about getting ahead in life, you have to be willing to outgrow the relationships that keep you small. It doesn’t mean cutting people off dramatically or becoming cold, but it does mean being intentional about where you invest your time and energy.
Because every minute spent with the wrong people is a minute not spent with the right ones.
Success is a Team Sport—Choose Your Team Wisely
At the end of the day, no one succeeds alone. The people you surround yourself with will either push you forward or hold you back.
So take a look at your circle. Do they challenge you? Do they support you? Do they make you better? And just as importantly—are you showing up as that kind of person for them?
Because success isn’t just about talent, intelligence, or even hard work. It’s about having the right people in your corner.
That’s something you could have full control over.
And that’s exactly what we’re building in R40—a 40-day sprint designed to help you cultivate the right relationships, elevate your mindset, and create the support system that actually moves you forward.
If you’re ready to surround yourself with people who challenge, support, and inspire you,
R40 is where it starts.
🔗 Join R40 here
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